Ahh, baseball. It is a sport that has awakened in the 21st century to discover that its popularity is waning. Attendances are falling; television ratings are down. People just don't follow baseball like they used to. This, of course, leads us to only one conclusion, that being that people just aren't as smart as they used to be.

Baseball is not a sport that features a lot of physical contact or stimulating action on every play, as the average North American teenager will attest. No, baseball is all about enjoying the summer weather, strategy, statistics, and, believe it or not, nail-biting excitement once October rolls around.

On the other hand, we can still poke fun at the players that take part in this summer sport. Because hey, sometimes it is just too hard not to. On that note, I present to you the Champions of America's Pastime.

Sadly, Jamie Walker forgot to bring his glasses to the photo shoot.

Richie Sexson says: "The camera is where?"

Just try and erase this Bartolo Colon mugshot from your nightmares.

Michael Tucker and Carlos Guillen react to seeing Bartolo Colon's picture.

John Vander Wal has a golf ball surgically implanted in his chin.

Jay Gibbons discovers that it's hard to smile sincerely when you play for Baltimore.

Aaaa-choo!

A ten-year-old boy disguises himself as Chris Carpenter.

HAPPY BIRFDAY TO ME!

Curtis Leskanic is being hypnotized by the camera.

Frank Menechino wonders what that smell is.

What Delino Deshields does not yet realize is that his left eye is sliding down his face.

Come on, people. The background is purple!

Craig Biggio forgot to take the yellow SALE sticker off of his hat.

After signing a long-term contract with the Baltimore Orioles, Buddy Groom celebrated by trying to drink himself to death.

No, those aren't trendy sideburns -- they're marks from where his face was smashed in a vice.

Sproing!

Zonk!

Durr...

Fuh...

I am not sure what is going on here, but I am pretty sure it involved Blake Stein getting hit below the belt...

...Possibly by Brad Voyles' huge bag of marijuana...

...Which Henry Blanco has apparently gotten into.

Jorge Fabregas doesn't know where he is.

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