| The best of the best. The cream of the crop. These guys deserve to be singled out for their accomplishments. |
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In 2001, Rich Garces had an ERA of 3.90, becoming the first pitcher in Major League History whose ERA was exactly 1/100th of his weight. |
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To our knowledge, Rondell White is the only player in the American League whose hat is a vacuum into an alternate dimension. |
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Help! Chuck Finley barely escapes with the coveted Incredible Shrinking Face award. |
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In their spare time, Terry Adams and Juan Pierre entertain kids by doubling as Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam. |
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| John Rocker earns the distinction of making his face take up as much space as possible in his photo -- he was probably trying to help out those guys who make custom dartboards. |
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Edgar Martinez grabs an award as the Player Who Least Knows How to Wear a Hat. |
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David Justice's ears and Steve Woodard's chin are co-winners in the Facial Feature Most Likely to Elope category. |
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Ironically, Todd Van Poppel's high school baseball team voted him "Most likely to trip and fall off the mound." |
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In 2002, Greg Vaughn was the winner of the Most Deserved Fake Smile award. |
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| David Ortiz, Dmitri Young, Nick Johnson, and Mike Fetters are this year's competitors in the Official MLB Fan-Eating Contest. |
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Randy Keisler holds the distinct honour of being the only man to ever eat dirt from the pitcher's mound. |
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Shigetoshi Hasegawa and Jeff Nelson take home the Most Fearsome Bullpen Duo award. |
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| You never know where you're going to find a left-handed pitcher. One day, the Tampa Bay VP of scouting saw Tom Martin (a stage name if I ever heard one) hurling rocks at cars from an overpass. He proceeded to walk right up to his cardboard box house and ask, "How would you like to pitch for the Devil Rays?" |
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| And finally, baseball fans, here is your 2002 All-Doofus team. |
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| - Luke Adams & Finn McCumhail |
