| I gave the general rundown of things in part one, so let's just get right into the lists in this, the second section of my Top Fives Ramblings. |
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| Best Seinfeld characters |
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| 5. Darren |
| 4. Kruger |
| 3. George Steinbrenner |
| 2. David Puddy |
| 1. George Costanza |
|
 Thumbs-up for Costanza |
George Costanza is my favourite character in any television show, let alone "Seinfeld". I would not go so far as to say that he is my role model, but there is just something about him. Puddy was Elaine's off-and-on girlfriend, Steinbrenner was the Yankees owner and George's one-time employer, Kruger was another of George's bosses, at Play Now, the sports company, and Darren was Kramer's Kramerica Industries intern from NYU for one episode. All were brilliant personas. |
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| Best college nicknames |
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| 5. Salukis (Southern Illinois) |
| 4. Zips (Akron) |
| 3. Horned Frogs (Texas Christian) |
| 2. Golden Gophers (Minnesota) |
| 1. Ragin' Cajuns (Louisiana-Lafayette) |
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| There were so many candidates for this list that narrowing it down to just five was a chore in itself. The Southern Illinois Salukis and their basketball team's run to the Sweet 16 in the NCAA tournament were what inspired this category, but they barely made the cut. Zips, Horned Frogs, Golden Gophers, and Ragin' Cajuns beat the Salukis any day. Can you imagine having Texas Christian as your alma mater? "You were a Tar Heel, eh? I was a Horned Frog!" |
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| Best Calvin and Hobbes books |
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| 5. Revenge of the Baby-Sat |
| 4. Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons |
| 3. It's a Magical World |
| 2. Scientific Progress Goes "Boink" |
| 1. Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat |
|
 Didn't quite make the cut |
When it comes to the best comic strip in the history of the world, there is no such thing as a 'bad' collection book. These five, however, stand out above the pack a little bit. From Calvin receiving anonymous insulting letters in the mail to Stupendous Man locking himself in his locker to the traffic safety poster contest to the ill-advised G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid of Slimy Girls) ambush on Susie, there is no question in my mind that Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat deserves top honours. |
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| Worst awards shows |
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| 5. MTV Movie Awards |
| 4. People's Choice Awards |
| 3. Grammys |
| 2. Daytime Emmy Awards |
| 1. Teen Choice Awards |
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| What you are probably thinking is: "Is there any such thing as a good awards show?". The answer to that question is probably no, but this is why this category is outlining the worst of the worst. The Teen Choice Awards gets the top spot because, in all honesty, teenagers probably make up a large percentage of the world's idiots, and when you group them together and let them vote for an awards show that is televised nationally, the results are sure to be disastrous. I think that it would be very difficult to make a positive case for any of the other four prestigious events, so I am not even going to bother explaining my reasoning. |
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| Funniest NBA white guys |
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| 5. Todd MacCulloch |
| 4. Jake Tsakalidis |
| 3. Greg Ostertag |
| 2. Eric Montross |
| 1. Shawn Bradley |
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 Ostertag and Bradley mix it up |
I know, I know -- I shouldn't be grouping anyone by skin colour when making fun of them, but we have to admit that, for the most part, tall and lanky white guys are the funniest people in the NBA. These five could probably pass as the same person, with the possible exception of Todd MacCulloch (The "Manitoba Moose"), who has a bit of actual talent. Look, it could be worse (or better, depending on your point of view). At least Gheorge Muresan and Bryant Reeves have retired. |
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| Pie flavours |
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| 5. Pumpkin |
| 4. Raspberry |
| 3. Apple |
| 2. Peach |
| 1. Lemon meringue |
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| Pie could very well be the best dessert there is, so you really can't go wrong with any of these flavours. Key lime and strawberry had to be left off, but they also come highly recommended. |
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| TV shows that I wish were still on |
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| 5. Cheers |
| 4. Sports Night |
| 3. NewsRadio |
| 2. Freaks and Geeks |
| 1. Seinfeld |
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 How could "Freaks and Geeks" only last one season? |
Okay, I know that every show has to end sometime, and "Seinfeld" and Cheers were probably around for long enough, but that doesn't change the fact that they were two of the best shows on television. "NewsRadio" ended because of Phil Hartman's death, which is understandble, obviously, albeit disappointing. "Freaks and Geeks" and "Sports Night", on the other hand, were cut short before they even hit their prime. I would be a happy man if both of these shows made a triumphant return next year. Or at least the re-runs. |
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| TV shows that I wish were not on |
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| 5. That 70's Show |
| 4. Survivor |
| 3. Dawson's Creek |
| 2. Will and Grace |
| 1. Friends |
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The actors on "Friends" have officially passed athletes as the most overpaid group in America. I don't know anyone that actually watches "Dawson's Creek", but maybe I am just hanging out with the right wrong people. "Survivor" is bound to go the way of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" sometime soon, right? I am sure that out of the shows on this list, more people like "That 70's Show" or "Will and Grace" than any of the others, which leads me to the obvious question: Why? |
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| Best ballparks |
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| 5. Safeco Field (Seattle) |
| 4. Busch Stadium (St. Louis) |
| 3. Wrigley Field (Chicago) |
| 2. PNC Park (Pittsburgh) |
| 1. Pac Bell Park (San Francisco) |
|
 Beautiful, just beautiful (Pac Bell Park) |
When I originally started making this list, I planned on only including stadiums to which I had been. However, that plan quickly fell apart when I could only come up with four stadiums (SkyDome, Pac Bell Park, Fenway Park, Tiger Stadium) that I had even seen in person, let alone witnessed a baseball game inside. Not to mention the fact that Tiger Stadium has given way to Comerica Park in Detroit. So this list is basically five parks that look the most inviting in pictures and on television. With any luck, I will get a chance to pay a visit to these five in the not-so-distant future. |
