| This is a word-for-word copy of an e-mail I recently sent to ijobo.com, a career and job searching website. Upon discovering it during a recent school project, I realized that nowhere on the site did they explain what on earth "ijobo" means. It was time to take action. |
| Dear ijobo.com, |
| Hello! My name is Luke Adams and I am a 17-year-old student keen on making a name for himself in the fast-paced and ever-changing business world -- I am not writing to you because of this. No, I am writing to you today because I have been a victim. Don't worry, I am physically okay! It is my mental and psychological side that I am a bit worried about. You see, I have been a victim of restriction of the truth, misrepresentation of the truth, and plain and simple deprivation of the truth. It is your fault. Let me pause here to give you a little background. |
| Our story begins a mere three weeks ago. During my daily Computer Programming class, I received an assignment. This was distressing for two reasons: |
| 1) It interrupted my usual routine, which mainly consists of reading Internet sites, such as yours. Well, not exactly like yours. I tend to, like my fellow ruffian teenage companions, "Do E-mail," through high-powered sites such as Hotmail.com by typing random numbers and letters such as "lol," "g2g," and "l8r g8r!" We have an impenetrable code. |
| 2) Assignments are, as a general rule, not too much fun. |
| Nonetheless, I tried to keep my spirits high. We were required to choose a topic among five choices, and I selected Careers Websites, thinking that it would be the easiest to make into a joke (not that there is anything in any way humourous about choosing the career path that you will follow for the rest of your life on earth). I suppose you are beginning to see where this is going. Yes, in my search for the Best Careers Website of All-time, I came across your little website. I did not intend to stay long, since the site requires a password to do anything. However, I thought I should find it what exactly "ijobo" meant before I left and forgot your site forever. As I'm sure you know, I did not find out because it is not explained anywhere on your site. |
| I would like to know what ijobo stands for, please. |
| I imagine that this could be some sort of elaborate joke to you. I imagine that you receive this sort of request from others all the time. I imagine that you deny them, as you will invariably deny me. I imagine that YOU ARE RATS. |
| In return for your revealing this apparently priviliged information, I will offer you one (1) broken CD case, two (2) Canadian dimes, and also my staple remover (it has sentimental value). We can work out a trade. I would really like to know! |
| I gave my careers presentation. In two entirely unrelated developments, I gave your website the "Careers Site with the Worst Name" award and I got a mark of 95% on the presentation. (I am currently residing in Canada, so this is, of course, in metric. In American terms, it would be approximately 160% -- It was a very well done project, I'd say). |
| I am unstable. You do not want to mess with me. Occasionally, I am known to hand in assignments late, take extra-long "bathroom breaks," and feign apathy when being addressed by authority figures. People call me a Rebellious Youth. Please do not make me aim my crazy, irrational vehemence towards ijobo.com. |
| You have been warned. |
| Sincerely, |
| Luke Adams |
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